Thai Conformity

I have some thoughts about Thai conformity because a lot of adults in Thailand, including my own Dad, have often judged how I act in front of people, and that I am too confident. Thai kids are also pressured by their parents about their behavior. Our generation is often repressed. We can’t be what we want to be, and can’t act the way we want to act. We are not allowed to be independent and express ourselves in our own way.

Thai conformity has been a part of Thai culture for a long time, carried on through generations of people in society. This is the reason why Thai society hasn’t developed or improved. Now the world is changing. It is a new place for the younger generations and Thailand is not isolated anymore. We are the part of international community so we should change some old things so we could be able to develop as the other countries do. 

However, older Thai people are very hard to change because they were raised with their parents saying that “You need to have manners, you have to be polite, agree with adults, don’t be too confident, study hard, and don’t act differently from the others.” So that is how Thai kids have been treated like they’re their parent’s dolls. They can do anything with their kids, make them perfect so it’s good for their future and care about how people think and have an opinion about their kids but they don’t care about their own kid’s feelings, dreams, or preferences. 

There are three main forms of conformity that Thai parents try to force on their children, which I want to address:

1. Don’t be too confident.
2. Study hard and have a good job like a doctor.
3. Don’t act older than your age.

Don’t be too confident.

When adults tell their children to not be too confident to argue with older people, it is usually because they believe that adults  are always right. Isn’t that nonsense? Isn’t that disgusting? Why do kids have to agree with something they disagree with but can’t speak out? Why do we have to be silenced? Not just this point, being not too confident makes us not be ourselves, if someone wants to do rainbow hair, Long nails, neon nails, and wear a rainbow shirt, they have to stop because they are too confident right? The adults will judge, even their parents will judge. Parents should be the one that understands their children the most but why are they not accepting who their children are? We are born to be ourselves, not who other people want us to be. Being confident is not wrong at all.

A lot of Thai kids don’t want to listen to these things, but they have to do it because their parents say so. Thai conformity affects Thai society and the development of the country. For example, many Thai students aren’t brave enough to show their talent because they have to be “not too confident and be the same as others.” So they just conform and they don’t have any chances to show what they can do. So they never have a chance to use their talents to improve the quality of life. It is very paradoxical from what parents expect from their kids because they always tell their kids to perform.

“Study hard and have good jobs, like a doctor.”

Many parents tell their kids, “Study hard and have good jobs, like a doctor.” Everyone wants their kid to be successful in their life. But some parents don’t force their kids to be what they wanted them to, some do.

Even though their kid doesn’t want to be what they wanted, but Thai parents will do everything to force or change their kid’s mind to be a doctor. A lot of parents said that “I want you to be a doctor because I can’t be a doctor, I know you can do it, at least I have had a child that is a doctor.” It’s all so they can show off their kids to others. They say, “Be a doctor because this job has a very high salary, so you could be able to take care of us in the future.” This proves that the old thinking isn’t working anymore, like I said previously, the world is changing. Now there are uncountable works that can find more money than being a doctor example like a youtuber, actress, singer or a dancer.

Don’t act older than your age.

“Don’t act older than your age. Don’t wear tiny clothes . Don’t have a boyfriend too early.” If we consider a little bit more, we will get that doing or not doing does things doesn’t even matter to our lives. Having a boyfriend early doesn’t turn you into a bad person. Wearing tiny clothes is not illegal. Thai people were the one making meanings about doing those things up, even though it doesn’t even mean a thing. What we should care about are : 

1. Not doing things illegal.
2. Not doing things moral.

Because those things are the one deciding we are a bad or a good person.

Doing things that are not related to Thai conformity will make people judge that our parents didn’t know how to teach us the right way, for me there is no right way to teach us, but there is a way that the kid is happy and not happy. If the parents treated the kid happily, they will be free to be, to say, and to act. They will have a life that not much Thai children have and that’s the best thing a parent can give to a kid. But if their parents treated them unhappily, the kid will be suppressed and act like a robot because they’re nothing different from the others, not confident, and don’t know the way of living life on their own because they always follow the Thai conformity and what their parents tell them to. You should even give a compliment to people that are confident because they’re special and unique as who they really are.

At last I wanted to say that we should stop using those conformity to the next generations and stop forcing them and inserting a code like they’re robots because they’re humans. We are all different. We are not who our parents and the society want us to be. Let’s choose our own way to live our life freely and happy as who we are.